Ode to a Dishwasher

     A few days before Christmas, our dishwasher stopped working.  Given all the hustle and bustle of the holidays, and the fact that it’s not a “necessity,” it was quite some time before we were able to get it fixed. And so, for about six weeks I got a chance to experience hand-washing the dishes every day.  The novelty of doing something in a “vintage style” wore off pretty quickly and I longed for our dishwasher.  I couldn’t believe the amount of time it was taking me to soak, wash, and dry all of the dishes we used on a regular basis.  I felt like I wasn’t getting anything else done!  

    Finally, the parts came in, and the repair man was booked!  I had a working dishwasher again!  And much to my surprise, I missed hand washing the dishes.  You see, I had taken to putting the baby in his high chair and letting him have a snack while I did the dishes.  I’d put on music and I’d sing and dance for him in between sink loads.  He’d make a huge mess with his puffs and yogurt bites and there were so many smiles and lots of baby giggles.  My original plan for this blog post was much more dishwasher-focused.  I wanted to talk about the modern conveniences that we take for granted today that our foremothers would have given their eye teeth for.  But that wasn’t the lesson that not having a dishwasher taught me.  What it taught me was that I was getting so caught up in making sure that my cleaning was done, and the grocery shopping was taken care of, and everyone had clean underwear, that I forgot the main reason for me being a stay-at-home Mom; being a mom. I nearly wasted a gorgeous afternoon cleaning the toilet instead of taking the baby and the dog for a walk.  I was letting my anxiety and my ideas of what a perfect housewife should be get in the way of enjoying my son’s childhood.

    And the end of the day, my house is never going to be 100% spotless, and I may forget an item at the grocery store from time to time, but that doesn’t matter.  That’s not what my little guy is going to remember when he gets older.  He’s going to remember the time we spent together and the fun things we did.  He will remember that his mommy loved him more than anything and made sure he was as happy as she could possibly make him.  So let yourself off the hook once in a while, turn on some music and wash a few dishes by hand.  Enjoy slowing down a bit and soak in every moment of parenthood while you can.  

    

Am I Allowed to Enjoy This?

     It’s 6:00am, the baby is screaming and hungry, the dog needs to go outside, there’s a mountain of dishes in the sink from last night’s dinner, and I have to pee.  It’s times like this where I start to wonder, why did I decide to do this?  And the answer?  Because I love it.  Maybe not this part, right this second, but most of it.

    I never saw myself as a housewife, or a stay-at-home Mom.  I always assumed I would go back to work after the baby was born and he would go to daycare.  But once he was here, I knew that wasn’t what would make me happy.  All of my career aspirations suddenly paled in comparison to my desire to be the one to take care of my son full time.  I started planning my days around feedings and diaper changes, dusting and vacuuming, and was shocked to find myself feeling fulfilled.  And then I began to ask myself a different question.  Am I allowed to enjoy this?

    As a liberal and a feminist, I had it in my head that housework and child rearing were oppressive tasks, and that all women longed to get out of the house and into the workplace.  I’d heard the tales of housewives of the past popping copious amounts of Valium and other substances in order to deal with the tedium of their lives.  But I wasn’t finding this tedious.  I looked forward to the next time the baby would wake up and need a bottle, I enjoyed keeping the house neat and tidy.  Was there something wrong with me?  Was I a bad feminist?  But then it hit me; women today have something different than our predecessors had.  A choice.  No one told me I had to stay home and take care of my son.  No one forced me to be the one to keep the house clean and make sure the dog gets walked.  I could have gone back to my job and we could have found child care for our son.  But my husband and I made the decision together for me to take on the role of Domestic Goddess.  So no, there is nothing wrong with me for enjoying cleaning and taking care of my child.  And there is nothing wrong with a woman who goes back to work after the baby is born.  We are all mothers who are just trying to do the best we can for our children, and for ourselves.  And however that looks, yes, we are allowed to enjoy that.

A Vintage Mama in a Modern World

   Hello fellow vintage lovers, parents, and anyone else who has wandered across my blog!  Welcome!  My name is Mandy and I am a vintage lover, music/movie/book enthusiast, and a stay-at-home mom.  I have a 15-year-old stepson, an 8-month-old son and a 3 year old Pomsky, and they are the lights of my life.  I wanted to start this blog as a way to discuss some of the topics that are important to me and my friends and family.  Some funny, some serious, but hopefully always entertaining.  I want to explore parenthood in the 21st century with a bit of vintage flair thrown in.  Check back often for updates, I look forward to connecting with you all!